A kiss is just a kiss

So what do you think? Fate or wild coincidence? Bad, bad luck?

When Millerna showed up alone on my ship wanting to talk with me- (Oh! And she was beautiful! Even more enchanting than I'd imagined!) -I'd thought that meant she was just as excited to meet me as I was to meet her, but noooooooooo.

All she wanted was to ask if I knew anything about Ispano Guymelefs. I had read about them, but never seen one, so I followed her over to the other ship, the Crusade. And then I got to meet... Allen. ...Oi.

And then I met everybody else and the injured King of Fanelia and his Guymelef, Escaflowne. I poked a button in Escaflowne which called the Ispano factory ship. Fifty million dollars was what they quoted. That's tech support for ya. No one there had that kind of money, so I gave them my fleet- (Allow me to repeat that. I gave them my FLEET!) -and the Ispano people fixed Escaflowne. Van recovered, but Millerna was not the least bit impressed with me.

And somehow every conversation I had with her seemed to go badly. Really badly.

I thought I'd try to make another contribution to the adventure by untangling all the Atlantis connections. Millerna got me Allen's father's final log and I started translating it. And then we all set off together to go visit the Mystic Valley. ...Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Oh, man. What was I thinking?!

Well, maybe it wasn't an idiotic idea after all. We spent days together on that ship. We all ate together. I got to spend time with her. I got to talk to her more. She didn't much seem to care to hear about my scholarly pursuits, so I asked her about her interests. She was studying to be a doctor! I thought this was great and so I asked her all about it and she was delighted to talk to me about it. For hours.

Wow. I might actually get somewhere if I could just manage to shut up.

I'd brought a locked case of antique books with me and left them in the ship's library. One of them was an Atlantean medical book. It was in Atlantean, but I'd already translated half of it and it was filled with fabulously interesting diagrams, or I figured they would be to her. So I told her about it and asked her if she wanted to see it, if she could maybe check my translation, since I'd had to take my best guess for some of the more imponderable medical words.

She came below deck to the library with me and I gave her the book and sat next to her while she looked through it. Oh, it was wonderful! She squealed over it and asked me question after question and I scooted closer to her and she didn't seem to mind at all.

And then- (Here would be the part where I was an idiot.) -then I slipped my arm around her and pulled her to me and kissed her.

She screamed and jumped up and ran out of the room.

I guess I sat there for a moment in shock.
Then I jumped up and ran after her.

I didn't get far because Allen- (remember Allen?) -had heard Millerna's cry and had come charging in to her rescue. Oh, joy. He chewed me out but good.

When he ran down a bit, I said, "How about you ease off on the threats, Allen. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I made a mistake. That was the first time I've ever tried to kiss someone and that was NOT how I wanted it to go. I don't know what happened."

"The first time?" Allen looked at me incredulously. Well, it was the first time. I don't think that through aquarium glass counts.

"I've been betrothed to Millerna since I was sixteen, so I never... uh." Eeeeg. I didn't want to be telling him this.

"...Oh. Well. You went too fast," said Allen.

"Too fast?"

"Was she looking into your eyes and leaning towards you?" he asked me.

"Uh... ...no."

"Then you shouldn't have kissed her," he said.

"Oh."

"Well, it's possible to get away with stealing a kiss... sometimes."

"How?"

"You went for the lips, didn't you? Yeah. Don't do that. If you're going to steal, go for the cheek. Or at least warn her that you're going to kiss her. You end up getting slapped a whole lot less."

"She didn't slap me. She just screamed and ran. ...Dare I ask how you know all this?"

He gave me an insouciant shrug and didn't answer. "You get better kisses if you wait until she looks like she wants one."

"How do I make her want a kiss?" I asked.

He blathered out a whole lot of useless romantic gobbledygook then, but I sort of managed to glean a bit sense out of it.

I said, "Okay. So you're saying that I'm trying hardsell, when I should be trying softsell. Hmm."

"Uh. Yeah. I guess that's one way of putting it. I'm amazed that you have no problem hearing this from me."

"I've been so successful in business because I learned from and copied the best traders in the world. It parallels. Clearly I know shit about women, but you seem to have a clue and then some. Why shouldn't I listen to you?"

"Learn from the competition, huh?" Allen smiled.

"Oh. Are you the competition? Thanks for the heads up."

"Er. ...I didn't mean... Uh."

"Yuh-huh. So now that I've scared her off, what do I do?"

"You can try apologizing, but I dunno. Once a woman has decided she doesn't like you, it's difficult to change her mind."

"Oh." I didn't think Allen was lying to me. So often bad news that has that ring of truth to it. Damn.

"What's with you?"

Mr. Rat didn't actually look like he cared, but I answered him. "Millerna. I tried to kiss her and I scared her off."

"Oh. Well, leave her alone for a while."

"Allen said I should apologize."

"Oh, well, that, too. You gonna let me work or what?"

"Don't you care?"

"She's not my type."

"...What's your type?" I asked him. He seemed to be in such a bad mood, I thought I'd humour him.

"Green eyes and whiskers."

"Eeew! That describes me!"

Mr. Rat growled and elucidated. "Green eyes, whiskers, curly tail, long black hair, female, shorter than me. A drop dead gorgeous mousegirl."

"Ah. Haven't seen anyone like that around."

"Me, either. Too bad, huh?"

"...You ever accidentally scared off a mousegirl?"

"Yup."

I thought I may as well take a poll. I said, "What did you do then?"

"Tried again with a different girl," said Mr. Rat.

"A different girl!? But Millerna is my fiancé!"

"Boss, it's not set in stone. It's not even set on paper. And a verbal agreement is worth what?"

"Yeah, yeah. The paper it's not printed on. I got nothin' here, huh?"

"Sorry, Boss. I don't think she likes you."

"Are you sure you're not just pissed 'cause I gave away the fleet?"

"I'm pissed, she don't like you, AND I don't know WHY you like her!"

"What's not to like? She's brilliant! She's studying to be a doctor. We were getting along great until I- I- ...Aaaaaaaagh! ........So leave her alone for a while, you think?"

"I hear her sister, Eries, is real pretty."

"Oh, man! That is NOT what I want to hear!"

"Sorry, my job description does not include blowing smoke up your-"

"Hey!"

"Eighty million dollar fleet for a fifty million dollar repair bill! You could have at least asked for change!" Ah. This was why he was so upset.

I said, "Well, that wouldn't have looked very gallant, would it?"
Mr. Rat chucked his pen at me, then his notes, then he started grabbing other items from the table. Heavy items. "Ow! Ow! Stop it!"

I tried apologizing. Millerna wouldn't hear me. I wrote my apology in a letter and left it with the Atlantean medical book and the translation notebook in front of her stateroom door. She ripped up the letter and left it as a pile of little paper bits outside her door. Well. I guess the letter had only been half an apology letter. The other half had been plain old love letter and I guess she hadn't liked it. She did take the book and the translation though.

Well, it was a totally nifty book.

Damn.

I am NOT going to ask Allen what he writes in his love letters. I'm just not.

So much for my first kiss. Buh-bye fantasies. This isn't even CLOSE to what I imagined would happen. Let's see.

Cons:
She doesn't like me.
She's in love with Allen.
Allen can kick my butt.
Allen's better looking than me. (I guess. Eew.)
I've been trying too hard.
I can barely think, I want her so bad.

Pros:
Well. I like her. A lot.
Allen's a twit. Maybe she'll notice that eventually.

Oh, man! What should I do now? What does she want? Hell. She's a princess. She doesn't need anything from me.

"Could you stop sulking?" said Allen.

"I'm not sulking. I'm contemplating my life," I said.

"Well, stop it. It's annoying," he said. I swear, I thought Allen was smirking at me. How unlike him. Usually his behavior was knightly perfection. Must have been the wine. Aaaargh.

"Like me, Allen, you may just have to learn to endure it."

Millerna entered the room then, (It was the officer's mess.) walked to the stores at the far end of the room, and poured herself a drink of juice. God, she was gorgeous.

On her way back out the door, she stopped in front of me and leaned over the table. "Stop staring at me!" she hissed. Allen elbowed me in the ribs. Gadeth laughed.

Oh, man. Just kill me now.

The Crusade was a big ship, but if I wanted to completely avoid Dryden I would've had to have just locked myself in my stateroom for the rest of the trip. And the staterooms were kind of dark. Also that is just not my style, so I went on as usual and eventually, inevitably I happened upon him alone. I wanted some paper so I could make a copy of one of the Atlantean medical diagrams, so I went to the navigation room, which was filled with maps and lots and lots of paper ...and Dryden was in there, too.

He stared at me for several long seconds, and then, remembering our last exchange I guess, dropped his gaze to the floor. He didn't move. He didn't say anything. He had a pad of paper and a pen in his hands. And pink in his cheeks. He was writing me another love letter. I could tell.

"Um... Hi," I said.

"Hi."

"Um... May I have some paper?"

He reached under the desk and handed me a pad of paper and he still didn't look at me.

"Thank you. Um. ...You don't have to...er... You can look at me. I was just angry before."

He looked up immediately, stared right into my eyes. "Oh. I really am sorry Millerna. I didn't know... I mean, I haven't... Uh.."

"Yeah, I know," I said. Merle hears everything on this ship. AND she's a blabbermouth.

"...Uh...So, you're not angry at me anymore?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"I can't translate that. What's it mean?"

"Can I have a pen, too?"

He handed me his. "Are you done with this?" I asked.

"Yeah. Bad case of writer's block."

"Oh. Too bad. Seeya," I said and I went back out the door.

Hmm. He had another pen.

Hmm. Those green eyes. And he thinks it's neat that I want to be a doctor. He doesn't think it's an unsuitable thing for a princess. Like my father. Or like Allen.

Oh, no. Am I fickle?

Hitomi was looking out a window on the other side of the ship. I sighed. She was the only one I could think to ask.

I went up to her and said, "Hitomi, I'd like your opinion about... my friend..."

Next: Chapter Four