I stopped and turned around. He kept walking.
"Sev!" I yelled. He kept walking. ".......SEV!!!"
My shout echoed off the stone and brick. Passersby averted their eyes. Oh, god, he's not going to stop... But he did. He stopped there at the crossroads and turned his head to look at me. I raised my hand in salute and stood waiting, feeling like an idiot, my hand in the air. Sev looked at me, at my swollen six month pregnancy. He flashed me a brief smirk, an ember seen over a frozen sea, gave me a bare nod of the head and stepped around the corner. Gone.
That was the last time I ever saw him. Though I am no seer, I knew it would be the last time at that moment. I was still crying when I apparated home.
James and Sirius were on the front porch and they stared at me and my streaked face. Sirius dug his elbow into James's side. "Must be hormones again," he said.
There is no point in me telling them anything. They'll never understand! Never! "Shut it, you mangy mutt!" I said, "Moron!" I kicked the dog as I ran past.
Sirius said "Oooph!" when I kicked him. James said, "Lily!"
But I slammed the door and ran into the kitchen.
I'm not unhappy with the life I've chosen, but I do see that of all the choices that I could have made, none were right or wrong or black or white and all could have worked. Maybe the obvious, popular choice wasn't the better choice, but simply the easy choice. I could have chosen to try harder. And if my choices define who I am now, my circumstances defined my ability to make choices then. Who knows what I might have chosen, had I... had I... had I been an entirely different person.
What is the matter with me? I am such a fool. It probably is hormones this time. This is so stupid.
The laughter out on the porch called me back to the present moment, the one in which I am married to sweet James and pregnant with his child. And I've just kicked James's best friend. I drifted out the door onto the porch, leaned against the wall and said, "Sorry, Dognose."
Sirius winked at me. "No worries, Gingersnap. Go make yourself a nice avocado and kipper sandwich like what you pregnant ladies eat."
Sirius is an idiot, but he's such a nice idiot. I flipped my hand at him in a rude gesture, smiled at my husband and walked back into my House.